Revising

 

The first step in revising is to re-read your essay. The first time thatyou re-read your essay, do not mark any corrections on it. Reading theessay uninterrupted will help you understand how your essay fits together.

 

In subsequent readings, read to revise. When you read for the purpose ofrevising, you should read from a particular point of view -- the reader's.Imagine that you are reading an essay written by a stranger. Be critical inasking yourself questions about your essay.

 

There are many elements of your essay to focus on when revising. You canexamine your essay as a whole, or as whole paragraphs, to revise items liketheme, structure, and general content. Bob calls these items, "big pictureitems." You can also examine your essay on the sentence or word level,focusing on details like spelling, grammar, and diction. Bob calls thesedetails, "little picture details." Check out Bob's revision tips for moreon revising.

 

Revision Tips: Big Picture Items

 

"Big picture items" are elements of the essay that involve the entire essayas a unit, or entire paragraphs. When revising your essay your should firstconsider these big picture items before considering things such as grammar,spelling, and word choice.

 

Big Picture Points to Consider

 

A. Theme and Topics 1、Does the essay answer the essay question completely? 2、Does the essay describe you accurately and completely? 3、Does the essay have a clear and consistant main point? Are all thesections of the essay related to this point?

 

B. Support and Specifics 1、Are there any important assumptions or background information you do notinclude that would make your essay easier to understand? 2、Do you go into adequate detail on important points, or do you explaineach point only superficially?

 

C. Organization 1、Does the essay have a logical beginning, middle, and end? 2、Are the essay's paragraphs organized in a logical sequence? One way to make sure your essay follows a logical order is to read theessay again, write a one sentence summary for each paragraph, and thencheck to see if the sentence summaries you have written follow a clearorder. 3、Is the essay written as one coherent piece of writing or severalunrelated sections? An essay should not be organized as separate sections introduced withindividual titles (for examples, dividing your essay into the separatesections "My Family," "Educational Background," "ExtracurricularExperiences," "Work Experiences," "Career Goals," etc.). . Revision Tips: Little Picture Details

 

After you have evaluated your essay's big picture items, it is time to takea look at the essay on a sentence and word level. Below are Bob's tips forrevising the "little picture details."

 

Tips on Content/Subject:

 

1、Remove any facts or specifics that can be found in other parts of yourapplication, such as your transcript or resume. You can refer the reader toother parts of your application by including parenthetical comments in youressay, such as "(see resume)" or "(see essay #2)." 2、Remove any criticism of previous professors, classmates, schools, orprograms with which you have been involved. 3、Remove sexist or racist language. 4、Revise any blatant self-promotion, for example "I am not only anoutstanding student, but also one of the most generous and givingindividuals in my entire university." Detail specific examples andexperiences which reveal your positive traits. 5、Remove sentences that begin with "I have always wanted to be..." Do notwrite about how your interest in your field of study began when you were asmall child. 6、Remove empty praises of the school for which you are writing the essay.If you complement a school in a such a general way that you could praiseevery other school you are applying to the same way, your compliments willbe taken by the schools as insincere. 7、Avoid writing with a pessimistic or depressed tone.

 

Other Tips: 1、Be extremely careful when using modifiers, words like beautiful,wonderful, interesting, challenging, regarding, excellent, and meaningful.Instead of using such common adjectives, describe your experiences as theyactually happened. 2、Use transition words like furthermore, thus, additionally, and however,to move from paragraph to paragraph and sentence to sentence. 3、Remove qualifiers like somewhat, partially, possibly, quite, and rather.Qualifiers make the writer seem unsure and unconfident. 4、Try to make your sentences as concise as possible. Remove needless words. 5、Use a thesaurus to replace overused adjectives. Make sure to pickappropriate synonyms. 6、Make sure there are no misspelled words 7、Avoid using quotation marks to highlight "adjectives." Quotation marksshould only be used to note dialogue. If you are using quotation marks tosurround adjectives it means the adjective you chose does not match yourintended meaning. Check a dictionary or thesaurus to find a more preciseadjective to use.

 

And Finally:

 

Make sure you personally understand every word in your essay

 

Tips for Writing Business School Essays

 

Business schools often consider application essays a more important part ofthe application than other graduate programs. This is because businessschools believe that job performance and job experience, which aredescribed in application essays, are a better indicator of an applicant'sbusiness potential than academic achievement. In writing business schoolessays you should not only give an accurate, detailed description ofyourself but also demonstrate an understanding of some part of the businessworld (e.g., banking, manufacturing, marketing, or consulting).

 

Here are some tips on answering the most common types of business schoolapplication essays.

 

The Achievement Essay:

 

"What do you consider to have been your single most important achievement to date?"

 

Describe the problem you faced, the steps you took to deal with it, and howyou solved it. The importance of your achievement is not all thatimportant. What is important is revealing how you deal with challengingsituations. In your answer try to show that you have creativity, initiativeand focus.

 

The Extracurricular Activity Essay:

 

"Describe the non-professional activities you enjoy."

 

This is not a trick question. You do not need to describe only hobbies thatare business related. Admissions committees care about what you enjoyoutside of work because they want to know that you are a likable person whowill fit into their school's student body.

 

The Character Essay:

 

"What do you consider your best character traits? Which traits would youmost like to change"

 

You do not have to answer this question completely honestly. For goodtraits, try to show that you possess traits that will help you do well inan M.B.A. program, such as the ability to work with others, the ability toself-motivate, or strong analytical skills.

 

As for weaknesses, do not mention character weaknesses such as dishonestyor greed. Rather, discuss weaknesses that can be strengths in disguise,such as being too details-oriented or too curious. Because many applicantswill probably mention the same strengths and weaknesses as you, be sure toprovide specific supporting evidence.

 

The M.B.A. and Career Goals Essay:

 

"Why do you want to pursuean M.B.A.? What are your short and long-termcareer goals?"

 

There are many strong applicants competing with you to be accepted. Youneed to show the admissions committee why you need an M.B.A. and how youwill use it. If studying business represents a big career change or isunrelated to what you studied in college, Try to make pursuing an M.B.A.seem compatible with your interests and skills. Your career goals do nohave to be overly ambitious. Modest career goals are fine too. If you dohave very ambitious goals, you should also have a realistic plan forattaining them.

 

The Work Experience Essay:

 

"Describe a significant managerial or other work experience."

 

Remember, your complete work history is already detailed on your resume, soyou do not have to restate it when writing this essay. Do not just write adetailed account of all your work responsibilities, but instead focus onone specific project. Try to write about an experience that revealscharacter strengths or other positives.

 

The Ethical Essay:

 

"Describe an ethical dilemma that you have personally encountered. Whatalternatives did you consider and why?"

 

The admissions committee is asking you to prove to that you will be anupright and moral student and business professional. There is no need topraise yourself too much, you can be modest here. Do not describe problemsthat you caused yourself. If you have not had much work experience, writeabout a school experience.

 

Tips for Writing Law School Essays

 

In evaluating application essays, law school admissions officers payattention both to what you write and to how you write. In terms of content,what you write, the essay should provide another dimension to yourapplication. It should make you stand out and reveal something not alreadydetailed in your application. Do not just recapitulate your grades and LSATscore. Instead, try to write something that can provide evidence youpossess the potential to become a successful lawyer. Being a lawyerrequires strong morals, attention to details, and the ability to cope withlong periods of monotony and boredom.

 

Lawyers generally write a lot and so they need to be able to write clearlyand concisely. If you are unsure how to write your essay, the simpler thebetter. Finally, although some schools do not place a specific limit on thelength of the personal statement, do not write more than three double-spaced pages. Most of the time two pages is enough.

 

Getting Outside Opinions on Your Essay

 

After you feel comfortable with your essay you should show it to a fewpeople whose opinions you respect. These might be friends, classmates, orteachers. If you can, you should also ask for help from a native speaker ofEnglish, since he should at least be able to help correct essay grammar.Do not be afraid of your readers' criticisms. After all, you should knowyour essay's weak points so you can fix them.

 

Listen to outside suggestions and consider them, but do not automaticallyaccept them. Remember that this is your essay. You should use your ownjudgment in deciding how to revise it.